The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

When The Morning Hands Us Lemons, We Make a Vodka Martini With a Twist

So far this morning:

1. Jason’s alarm didn’t go off and he overslept by an hour and a half. We’ve apparently trained the children so well to leave us alone and let us sleep in on the weekends they didn’t think to come in and find out why their father wasn’t doing dishes downstairs like he normally is first thing in the morning. They just got up, dressed and tip-toed past our door.

2. In my hurry to find a quick breakfast for the kids I elbowed a glass off the kitchen counter onto the tile below. It exploded into 8,520,745 tiny little needles of death around my bare feet.

3. The laundry monster, who’s been gaining power on the floor of our master bedroom over the last couple of weeks, rose up and declared his intention to first take over the house and the world.

But then:

1. I vacuumed up the wine glass dust without cutting myself or anyone else and decided that since that was my second to last wine glass that hadn’t yet been broken, it means I need to go wine glass shopping. Shopping always cheers me up.

2. Because he just started a new job and gets to leave a little bit later than he had been, Jason offered to drop our oldest two kids off at the bus stop and school from now on, cutting 30 minutes out of the 2 hours of drop offs and pick ups I do every day. (OK, he may have left out the ‘from now on’ part, but I’m confident it’s what he meant.)

3. I explained to the laundry monster that even if I don’t sit down tonight and spend 3 hours folding and putting away all of the clean clothes his mass consists of, he will never gain more power than he has right now. The scientific fact of it is, we only have a finite amount of clothes and Jonas has been getting dressed off our bedroom floor for over a week now. I then reached into his core and pulled out a sports bra and tank top. He collapsed to pieces on the floor, mortally wounded.

Clearly we can overcome anything.

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