The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Top 10 Signs the Phoenix Real Estate Market Has Gone Bananas

Number 10:

Answering office phones is no longer just an easy way to generate leads. Answering office phones is now an easy way to end up committed for post traumatic stress.

Number 9:

A listing agent tells you the house can only be shown Saturday between 1 and 2 pm because the owner breeds pit-bulls on the property, and also just FYI, the house will definitely need all new paint and flooring due to the pit-bull breeding. Your buyer is still wants to see it because there’s just nothing else available.

Number 8:

You’ve begun to screen your calls against annoying unsolicited all cash back-up offers on listings firmly under contract.

Number 7:

You develop a psychic sense for when a new house has come on the market for one of your buyers. By the time you pull up the house, set up the appointment and make it over there with the buyer at 8:05AM on day zero of the listing, the house is already under contract.

Number 6:

You are no longer deterred by the Multiple Offers Received field in the MLS. Until the new buyers have moved in, that sucker is fair game.

Number 5:

You show a house that mentions a ‘sparkling pool’ in the listing description, except the backyard is nothing but grass and dirt. The seller explains she doesn’t know why the listing agent put that in there because they threw the pump into the bottom of the pool and filled it in with dirt last fall. Despite this the house gets 8 offers in the first day.

Number 4:

No trouble finding buyers. Raining buyers. Trouble finding house for buyers. Stress ate part of brain in charge of grammar. Some buyers please go away thank you?

Number 3:

Your spouse has become accustomed to soothing you back to sleep after you wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat screaming, Not again! It can’t happen again! Did we learn nothing from 2005?!

Number 2:

Those water bottles Realtors are always carrying around to stay hydrated? It’s not water in them now.

And the Number 1 sign the Phoenix real estate market has gone bananas?:

You pass a stranger in the grocery store who has a desperate, defeated look in her eye. The skin on her face is saggy and grey from too much fast food eaten on the run. Her clothes are rumpled, she’s wearing two different shoes and she badly needs a root touch-up on her grey hairs. You feel deeply sorry for this hollow shell of a person… until you realize you’re standing in the mirrored display area of the floral section.

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