Things I Will Never Be

I will never be the wife who wants to make sure everything is put away before she goes to bed.

I will never be the mom who always knows what school days are: off/picture day/when the science fair project is due/when the field trip money is due/when there is some random class party celebrating an obscure holiday like the 100th day of school.

I will never be the parent who never ever swears within earshot of her children.

I will never be the person who’s so financially responsible she always knows exactly how much money is in her bank account.

I will never be that girl who gets a creative project done ahead of time.

I will never choose to organize anything if I can think of any other remotely more interesting way to spend my time.

I will never not have a sarcastic comment on the tip of my tongue.

I will never pick an outfit for any kind of activity or event based solely on its practicality and comfort.

I will never be under-committed or probably even just manage-ably committed.

I will never be comfortable or good at telling a lie.

I will never not want everyone in the nearest vicinity to know how I’m feeling at any given moment.

I will never be happy without a ridiculous goal or project I’m working on and four more on the horizon.

I will never regret spending money that should have gone to savings on activities we will remember for the rest of our lives.

It is what it is; take me or leave me.