The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

The Dream: An RV Circus Food Truck

Even though the rest of my life is kind of a mess, my plans for world domination via circus are steadily moving forward. Sure, I’m still a 36 year old lady in tie-dye tights and a leo, dying her hair blue to cover the grey, but now I’m that weirdo who can do stuff like this:

This was a class a few weeks ago where we took a silks performance we found online and, with the help of our instructor, broke it into pieces and learned the first half of it. My phone ran out of memory and cut off the last drop, but it was probably for the best because by that point I was exhausted and mostly just trying not to let go and accidentally hang myself.

Also, one of the circus schools I go to recently acquired a set of hand-balancing canes. I was surprised to learn I can do this:

Cool, right? Although that hand-balancing shit takes a certifiably insane amount of time, effort and strength to turn into any kind of a routine, so it’s possible my party trick in that arena will max out at 7 seconds.

Just this week I started taking a lyra class (the big metal hoop). It’s not something I’ve had much experience on over the last 15 months, but so far I’m entertained. Last night at class there was a lengthy discussion over whether it is socially insensitive to describe leg position as ‘swastika-ing’ and/or politically incorrect to name a move ‘The Spinning Budda’. I’m not sure a consensus was achieved, but there was learning, and that’s the most important thing.

Gray decided when I run away to join the circus he wants to come with. I told him he needs to have a skill he can perform, so this is what he’s been practicing (I apologize for the vertical video. It works way better for the silks and handstands, but then I get used to it and forget to use it properly in other situations):

So here’s what I’ve decided is the new plan of action:

Step 1: Teach Jonas to tame lions* and Ben to be a fire eater (shouldn’t be that hard, he’s a teenage boy, he’ll eat anything).

Step 2: Sell the house and all our stuff.

Step 3: Buy an RV that doubles as a food truck.

Step 4: Travel around the country performing while Jason sells gourmet tacos and coffee out of the back of our living quarters.

Shouldn’t be that hard.

Next week, I’m off on a random trip to the Circus Center of San Francisco with a circus friend. We’re flying in Wednesday evening, staying in a hostel, and taking classes for 3 days. Because life is short and my knees aren’t getting any younger. I’ll surely post all the details here eventually, but if you’d like to experience the adventure in real time, you’ll probably want to follow my Instagram, @ecnewlin. I’m gonna hashtag it #theSFcircusadventure.

After that I’ll totally start talking about real estate again. Probably.

This is aerialist Barbie. I stole her off pinterest.

This is aerialist Barbie. I stole her off pinterest. It’s what I felt like last weekend when I went to an Orange Theory class with Jason and had to lift weights while standing in front of a mirror. 


*By “teach Jonas to tame lions” I mean “rescue and rehabilitate injured domesticated species and allow them to perform only if they enjoy it and feel emotionally fulfilled by the experience,” obviously.

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