Reasons I Shouldn’t Donate My Maternity Clothes

1. I’m pregnant.

2. They take up a whole bunch of space, and if there’s anything I don’t need it’s more room in my closet.

3. Someday I might have a friend who will  be pregnant and have an event she’ll need to borrow a floor-length amish-style dark denim maternity skirt for, and if I donate it, what kind of friend will that make me?

4. I could totally wear this shirt the next time we go have chicken and waffles and instead of looking at me with contempt and disgust at how much I have consumed, people will just chuckle understandingly.

5. My boobs could just spontaneously grow to each be the size of my head and then I’m going to be sorry I didn’t keep those maternity bras. 

6. If I donate them and I do ever get pregnant again I would have to buy all new clothes and I just hate shopping and buying new clothes so much.

7. One of my sons might someday be in an all-male production of Hairspray and we’ll need costumes.

8. My sister and I are really similar in size and body type, so she’s likely going to want all of my clothes for the third time she’s pregnant (after she gives birth to the one she’s currently pregnant with). 

9. I feel pretty confident that intentionally wrinkled satin look is going to come back in and be totally flattering on large, round objects. 

10. One of my favorite things is to wear old, out-dated things when I’m already feeling fat and unattractive. So in the unlikely event I do decide to go through it all again…

Things To Do Today:

1. Donate my maternity clothes.