The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

I'm Sorry; What Did You Want From Me?

Dear Internet,

I totally owe you a blog post for today but my brain isn’t working all that well so I’m just going to offer you the following examples of other things I’ve failed at in the last 24 hours just so you don’t feel alone:

1. This morning I was setting up showings, picking up my house for the cleaners to come, checking email, sniffing around to see where that odor of cat urine was originating from and applying makeup all at the exact same moment when apparently my multitasking abilities hit a maximum level and short-circuited out my brain. It was like when me and my mom and my sister all tried to use our hair-dryers simultaneously when I was a teenager and the fuse blew and all of the screens in the house began flashing, ‘DOES NOT COMPUTE’. Except this happened in my brain.

With a mascara brush in one hand and my eyes on the computer screen I picked up the phone to call a client to remind her to send me a document I’ve been waiting for and as the phone was ringing I became distracted by the pretty lights on my computer and forgot I was on the phone. My client said, ‘Hello’ and my entire mind went as blank as a sheet of paper. I couldn’t remember whether I had called this person or she had called me much less who on Earth it was.

I turned the phone’s face to me, hoping the number would jar a memory, but the 10 digits just stared back at me accusingly without providing any support whatsoever. Judgmental bitches. I spent the next 5 seconds (the longest 5 seconds that ever occurred in time) contemplating my two options: 1. Just hanging up like a 13 year old boy in a prank call gone bad or 2. Admitting to whoever was on the line that I had no idea who they were and looking like a mental patient to potentially another agent I had just called, or worse, a client.

Luckily, my client eventually (5000 milliseconds later) said, ‘Uh… Liz?’ which was enough to jumpstart my brain and remind me who I had called. Thank strawberry smoothies she’s known me practically 20 years and I’ve done way more embarrassing things than this in front of her before. I don’t think she’ll hold it against me.

2. In an attempt to be ‘helpful’ to a dear friend, I kept her eldest child overnight two nights ago while she was giving birth to daughter number 2. I borrowed her fold-up crib to let her baby sleep in and then forgot it at home when I returned the child. Of course, since they now have another baby who needs to sleep in that crib, they kind of needed it. Tonight.

As they live about 25 miles from me, I made a plan to drop the crib off on their doorstep when I was on that side of town for showings early in the day. I almost forgot to put the damn thing in my car as I was leaving this morning (3 minutes after the previous brain breakdown), but got it in the car at the last minute. I even stopped by the hospital to see the new little one and promised them again I’d drop it before heading back to the East Side (yo, Mesa, represent! What, what!).
Of course, I didn’t think of it again until I was back at home, seated at my computer 5 hours later and she texted me, ‘I didn’t see the pack-n-play on the doorstep. Where did you put it?’

3. My brand new fantastic amazing website is still not done. Oh wait, that’s just another way I’m failing you, Dear Internets. So it probably doesn’t make you feel any better to hear.

I’m 8.9 seconds from marching into my husband’s boss’s office and demanding that he let up on this actual-work-they-pay-him-to-get-done BS so that my webmaster can get back to finishing things for me that I really need completed. Unfortunately in this economic climate I’m worried that would be less ‘pro-active and assertive’ and more ‘insane and self-destructive’.

Love and kisses,
The Real Estate Agent Who Can’t Remember What She Was Talking About Just Now…

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