Evil, Killing, Duck-Monsters
Seems like everyone and their mother is doing NaBloPoMo. I hadn’t heard of it until a couple of days ago (been so busy and out of the blogospere lately) but now all of my favorite blogs are full of new content. I haven’t signed up officially, but since I managed to post yesterday, on the starting day, I’m going to make a concerted effort to keep up with a daily blog for the month of November.
On that note: Gray and I went to the park near our house today. It has a little man-made lake complete with ducks and pigeons and occasional toy boat races. I brought a bagel with us because I thought it would be fun to feed the ducks (and also we had an egg bagel leftover from one of the many recent trips and seriously, who eats egg bagels? EW.) So as soon as we got to the park, we headed over to the water/bird area. There was another mom/son combo already there feeding the birds, as well as a group of people eating lunch in the Ramada over looking the water. As we walked over, the other mom and son finished giving out whatever they had and began to walk away.
As we got closer to the water, we realized that the big geeseish/swan-like creatures (um, I’m not what you’d call a fowl expert… they are as tall as Gray is and brown and have a weird beak with a lump on it and long necks… water ostriches? What do I know?) were there along with the pigeons and ducks. Upon seeing us, all of the creatures headed in our direction. This was when Gray proved just how smart he is and took about 10 steps away from me. I, on the other hand, reached into my bag and pulled out my bagel and started ripping off little pieces and throwing it to the birds (as you do).
The pigeons were in hog heaven, gobbling up the little bits of bread. The large birds, on the other hand, were not interested, one tiny bit, in the pieces of bread. One, in particular, started toward me and just kept coming. I had no idea what she was intending to do to me, but I did not like the look in her beady eyes. I backed up five big steps or so and waved my arms around a bunch. This deterred the idiot pigeons and a big flock of them flew off, but Mother Goose or whomever, didn’t bat an eye, she just kept moving toward me.
I wouldn’t say that I have a fear of birds, but I have to admit, irrational though it may be, just about any aggressive animal making a move in my direction freaks me out, feathery and nursery-rhyme oriented nonetheless. I wasn’t sure that this bird even cared about my bagel anymore, I was starting to think she wanted to eat my hand for lunch.
So, you know, I lost it. I screamed and threw the entire bagel at her. I used my bagel as a weapon against a giant duck. And it turned out I was wrong, it was the bagel she wanted. Just not any little pieces. After it bounced harmlessly off her side, the bird picked up the entire bagel and turned around and walked away. The rest of the birds disappointedly followed suit, mumbling to each other, “Not again! Why to they always give up and give the whole thing to her? What do they think she’s going to do, peck their knees out? Morons.“
And of course, all of the people eating lunch heartily enjoyed the exchange. Gray and I high-tailed it over to the swings, and on the way passed the other mother and son. I asked her how she escaped being mauled by the birds and she giggled and said, “Well they don’t actually bite. They come toward you, but eventually they stop. They won’t really hurt you,” in a voice that implied the question: the state lets you keep your children?
So there you go. Daily posting often has nothing to do with real estate. Sorry. (Interest rates are low! Buy now!)