Escape (I’m sure it’s a theme we’re bound to revisit with Jonas)

I already posted this on Facebook, but if I don’t blog it how will I remember the whole story so I can tell it at his wedding… or his Presidential Inauguration (they let your mom speak at that, right?)… or his parole hearing one day?

Jonas: Mom! MOM! Come outside! You have to come look at these orange Xs in the green belt. MOM!

Me: Dude, I’m like right in the middle of a work email. And I need to get dinner in before your dad and brother get home from soccer. I do not have time to go look at orange Xs in the greenbelt.

Jonas: Come on, Mom, please? Just come really quick. Really quick, come on, please. Now, now, really, please, quick, now, Mom, come, mommmmmmmmm!!!!

Me: OHMYGODFINE.

Jonas runs out ahead of me. I take another 30 seconds to finish up my email.

Jonas: Look! Down there, orange Xs!

Me: OK, I see the Xs, but how did you get up on the fence?!

Jonas: I used your stool (points below him to my portable gardening stool).

Me: You’re a nut. Please be careful up there. I think the Xs are just marks the landscapers are using to do work on the irrigation system.

Jonas: Oh. Can I go into the greenbelt and look at them for a minute?

Me: That’s fine. Come right back, though. Do you want me to help you down?

Jonas: No, I’ll just climb over. It’s too far to go around.

Me: Ok… I mean, I guess. But you’ll have to go around to get back anyway.

Jonas: No, you can just hand me the stool over so I can get back.

Me: But then the stool will stay over there. You’ll have to go around to get it and bring it home.

Jonas (thinks about it for a second, then climbs back down on my side): I need a hook.

Me: Whatever. I’m going back inside to start dinner.

Ten minutes later, in the kitchen. Jonas has been pacing around, muttering to himself.

Jonas: I HAVE THE BEST IDEA EVER. Mom, look what I found!! (He holds up a hanger.)

Me: That is definitely hook-like… but it’s not long enough.

Jonas: What if I took this wire right here and tied it to it?

Me: YOU CANNOT tie my iPhone charger cable to a hanger and use it to hook a stool to help you climb the fence. Everyone has a line and that is mine. No, no, no.

Jonas: I’ll find something else… I bet Ben has something.

Ten minutes after that there is more yelling from the backyard. I head out to see the culmination of his efforts.