Another Open Letter To A Listing Agent
Dear Listing Agent of House #2 I Showed Saturday,
I just wanted to write and tell you that it’s really actually ok with me that you made the house so difficult to show.
Many agents would have been completely deterred by the broken-off key in the lock of the security door, which made the front door totally inoperable. Many would have just told their clients this house wasn’t going to happen that day and moved on.
Of the agents who weren’t completely defeated by the first obstacle, most would have thrown in the towel when they tried to go around back and enter through the back door only to find the back gate padlocked shut. At that point almost all agents attempting to show your property would have given up.
But I call all those agents who would have to admit surrender to a broken door and a locked gate: losers. They are the Realtors without a sense of adventure in their blood and a desire to win ingrained in their very nature. They probably view the Great Real Estate Collapse of the 21st Century as an impediment to their livelihood rather than a challenge to be overcome and mastered. I’m not one of those agents. I have made the recession my bitch!!! ROAR! (I think the new exercise routine has awakened a primal desire for conflict and competitiveness in me I previously never knew existed.)
Ahem. My point is, Mr. Listing Agent With The Difficult To Enter House, I actually dig that you didn’t bother to amend these impediments on a high traffic weekend. Seeing as how I have no problem humiliating myself for the good of my clients, it wasn’t really an issue for me to jump the fence, unlock the garage side door and let my clients in through the third bay of the garage (although the excessive amount of crickets in the garage near where I had to pull on the door to unlock it totally freaked me out and almost did me in, I have to confess). And thus, I’m pretty sure we were the only people who actually managed to view this particular house this weekend. It’s kind of awesome of you to cut down on the competition for me like that.
Love and kisses,
A Bad-Ass Real Estate Agent Who Likes To Climb Things But Is A Touch Wussy About Bugs