The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

A Realtor’s Guide to Feeling Better After Being Fired

It’s been kind of a cruddy week. My phone keeps doing that echoy thing where I can hear myself talking a second after I say anything and it’s so distracting I can barely get out, “My phone(my phone)… is break(is break)ing up(ing up)… Ineedtocallyouback(Ineedto) *click*,” without sounding like a stuttering weirdo.

Plus I got fired yesterday. Not from Thompson’s Realty, thank Allah. Jay and Francy are still putting up with me. No, I had a client actually tell me he was no longer in need of my services and would be finding himself another agent. Except he said it louder and with more f words. It’s not something that happens often to me.

So in the spirit of turning the other cheek and moving on, I put together a list of 10 Ways to Feel Better After Getting Fired:

1. Open a bottle of wine and drink just one glass, then go to the gym and walk on the treadmill at an incline while watching excellent trashy TV (United States of Tara works) on Netflix on your iPad for 45 minutes. Then go home and drink the rest of the bottle. Endorphins + alcohol + mindless entertainment = the perfect combination of brain numbing and head clearing.

2. Remind yourself that no longer having to show 17 houses all over the East Valley first thing Saturday morning means you can go to your favorite ballet class, which you’ve missed several weeks in a row.

3. Wear glitter eyeliner for no reason but that it makes you feel pretty and sparkly.

4. Receive an apology email in response to the email you sent earlier in the week that began with the sentence, I can’t help but resent the implication that my seller would intentionally fail to disclose a material fact about the property, and only got crankier from there. This apology email will restore your faith that there are actual people with hearts and brains still in real estate today.

5. Go out and look at the carrots finally beginning to grow in the garden. *Squee* because, hello, baby carrots grown from seeds sprouting up from the dirt, you are so cute and precious and I love you!!

6. Remind yourself that you cannot please everyone at all times. People who want you to be a property-showing robot who belongs only to them won’t ever be happy with anyone but a property-showing robot. You are not a property-showing robot. Feel happy you’re not a property-showing robot, because it doesn’t sound that fun.

7. Wonder if maybe you should consider getting a job at Wendy’s instead of this bullshit because if you worked for Wendy’s people wouldn’t call you at midnight when you’re not on shift and ask you to make them a burger. Your hourly wage would probably also be higher. Ultimately dismiss this plan because if you worked at Wendy’s you couldn’t watch trashy TV in your pjs while filing paperwork because you’re having a cruddy day.

8. Remember that even though you’ve been fired, in the last week you’ve also sold the house of a widow who is now free to move closer to her children and will see her grandchildren on a daily basis, and you sold a different house to a couple with a new baby, who will be growing up with that as her home. Sure the lows are low in this biz, but the highs are nice and high.

9. Come to the conclusion that the big blowout was for the best. You stood up for yourself and spoke your mind and at least you’d only spent 15-20 hours and $50 or so in gas helping this client before he went postal. The damage could have been so much worse.

10. Revel in the fact that you will get to both snuggle your parents’ new puppy and have your nephew sleepover tonight and realize the hollow ‘I hate myself’ feeling in your stomach has been replaced by a warm fuzziness. It’s like your 20 year old cat has burrowed into your intestines and made a nest to curl up in and fall asleep, except less weird and gross.


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