The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Scary VS. Sweet

I have a new listing that is an anomaly in this market. It’s a ‘normal sale’; which is kind of an ironic name for the least likely type of property you’re going to run across right now. What is a ‘normal sale’, you ask? A normal sale, is a property that is not owned by the bank or a relocation company and is not owned by a seller who has negative equity in the property. It’s just a regular person who owns a house, has equity and has it listed for sale.

Lately, if I have a buyer who marks 10 properties he wants to see, when I pull them up to research, five will be short sales, three foreclosures (bank owned properties), one will be owned by a relocation company and one will have a normal seller with equity (in certain price ranges and areas you can swap out one of the those foreclosures for a new build or a fix’n’flip).

So this new listing I have is kind of a gem. No, it’s not super upgraded and new, but it IS adorable, CLEAN and completely MOVE-IN READY. In this financial climate, those are some magic words right there. There is just something to be said for walking into a home smells like a human being could actually live there without wearing a gas mask.

This property is a townhouse in Northwest Phoenix. It was built in 1997, is 1542 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms and has a two car garage. The subdivision has a community pool and tennis courts and is close to the I-17 (which is great for commuters).


I know what you’re wondering: Does it have granite counters and stainless steel appliances?

No, it has original laminate counters and cabinets and white appliances, clean and mold-free.


But it also doesn’t have a window sill covered in bee carcasses.



(I didn’t bring my camera the day I showed this house because I thought to myself as I was running out the door, ‘I won’t see anything super weird today,’ and then the very first house we walked into was a monstrosity with a bees-living-in-the-walls problem. So my client snapped these with her camera phone.)

Does it have an enormous backyard with a pool?

Nope, a cute little patio with pavers and rocks.


But it also doesn’t have a swampy death-trap of a former pool just waiting to suck the neighborhood kids in and put you in litigation before you’ve even moved in.


Are the floors ecologically friendly hardwood bamboo?

Nah, more like a pretty pergo knock-off.


But hey, it doesn’t have holes dug into the walls where an animal was obviously locked into one of the bedrooms (which is good, because it’s bad business to report your own clients to PETA).


And what is the odor like in the house? Is it roses and perfumed candles?

No, more like cookies and green cleaning products; nothing like the short sale I showed about three weeks ago that smelled just like it looks (yes, look close, those are hundreds of cigarette butts mixed in with the rock; it’s like some kind of new decorative landscaping element designed by prison inmates):


All of this loveliness is available for under $100,000. ($1 under, to be exact.) Feel free to check out the details and give me a call when you decide you’d rather your home buying process be less Horror Show, more Home and Garden Show.

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