The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Whoever Invented Spring Break Wants To See Me Dead

A mommy blogger I follow on twitter tweeted this a bit ago: Ok business owner/mommies: how the hell do you make this work?

I replied: Spring break is the devil.

I should have replied with this:

I like to label my beverages so I don't forget what I'm drinking. It helps when I'm on glass 3.

So yeah, this week was Spring Break. Thus the reason I’m one post short for the week and my house looks like a tribe of circus performers and their animals moved in about a month ago and made themselves at home.

Of course there is a decadent fabulousness about Spring Break I love. Sleeping in till 7:15 am doesn’t suck (I’m pretty sure Jason has to keep himself from stabbing us all in our sleep when he’s dragging his work-bound butt out of bed at 4:45 am). Not having to make the two hours of daily school drop offs and pick ups is kinda nice too. Plus, of course there are fun outings to Superstition Farm and whatnot:

The boys were petting 'Sushi' the bunny. Who was either an insanely calm animal or a very lifelike product of taxidermy.

Jonas fed the goats.

I'm pretty sure they feed these animals chili cheese fritos.

My favorite part was that I got to wear my boots. Of course no one else there was wearing cowboys boots. Even the farmers.

All of that is awesome and fun. The problem is I still have my normal workload of real estate drama and no childcare. So this is how that goes:

Jonas: MOM. I’m just gonna tell you a little bit. I’m just gonna go upstairs, but I’m gonna tell you about…

And of course this was all after we showed up to this house to video it for an out of town client and it didn’t have the ARMLS lockbox that allows me to access it using my ekey as was promised on the MLS plano. No, it actually had a workman’s 3 letter combo lockbox. When I called the agent to find out what the code was his voicemail said he was ‘out of the office’ all day and would return calls the following day. First of all, Dude, don’t pretend you hang out in your office all day normally. We’re Realtors. That’s just silly. Secondly, YOU SUCK.

Finally, after three more fruitless phone calls to his office and his transaction coordinator and then back to his useless voicemail I gave up and resorted to somewhat random guessing at the lockbox combo as Jonas and Gray wandered around the front yard saying, ‘Can we go get lunch YET?’ I say ‘somewhat random’ because for some reason real estate agents are incredibly uncreative about picking their lockbox codes. They really only ever use like three of them. But that didn’t stop me from declaring myself “A Goddamn genius” on twitter and facebook when the sucker popped open on the second attempt. I kind of wish I’d had a client with me so I could have looked like a magician. You think that’s amazing, wait till you see what I can do with the AAR contract!

So, yeah. The week’s gone a little like that. For five full days. I’m ready for Spring Break to be over. Let the learning begin!

Also? If you leave a creepy doll collection in a vacant house my clients might pose with it:

Image not endorsed by Realtor. But possibly giggled at.

4 Responses to Whoever Invented Spring Break Wants To See Me Dead

  1. Uh… I would have hid the dolls. That’s super creepy.

  2. hi. I work from home. as a single parent. of children who’s lovely school is year round. our spring breaks lasts for TWO AND A HALF MOTHER EFFING WEEKS [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]

    I have emails from people who are forwarding their LAST emails to me to say “hey, I am forwarding this because you must not have got it.”

    No. I got it. I just can’t answer it because I am hiding in the closet pretending I can’t hear the screaming of “YOU ARE THE MEANEST BROTHER EVVVEEEEEERRRRRR!!!” echoing with fake-sobs down the hallway…..

    I need a label that says “RUM AND COKE” next to a plate labeled “XANAX”

    • RIGHT? thank you. that makes me feel better. If I hear one more ‘That’s MINE!’ followed by the loud crash of a brother ripping a toy out of another brother’s hand only to have it fly out of his hands and into the wall behind him someone’s getting a swirly.

  3. Keeping with my streak for comedic references for EVERYTHING:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a82SpecM368

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