The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

What a Girl Wants (And We Kind of Hate Ourselves For It)

I get it, Men; women are confusing.

You just don’t understand what we’re looking for in a man. Your brain is wired a little differently from ours, so it makes sense you’d be a little flummoxed about what we’re attracted to and why. It’s OK, the other day a male friend was trying to explain to me why some men are attracted to crazy chicks and it didn’t make a lick of sense to me.

The point is, I thought I could shed a little light on the subject with one specimen that embodies everything women are attracted to in one package: CT.

What’s that? You don’t watch The Challenge? You mean you won’t admit you watch The Challenge, right? Oh. You actually don’t watch The Challenge? Well you’re missing out.

The Challenge used to be a competitive reality show that pitted cast members from The Real World against people from Road Rules, but now it’s just a bunch of people who may or may not have ever been on an MTV reality show in the last 15 years.

The point is, Chris “CT” Tamburello, was originally on The Real World, but has gone on to compete on The Challenge 9 times. And the more important point is: WE LOVE HIM. Like soo much. We, 20-40 year old women (intelligent, college educated, professional, mothers, etc) collectively adore CT and a little bit hate ourselves for it. He’s kind of everything that’s wrong with women. I think if we break down exactly what is so attractive about CT, you men might have a better understanding of how we women, work.

So what, you ask, are the reasons we love CT?

1.  He loves cancer-y Diem without her wig – Not only did CT fall for the adorable and recovering from a recent bout with Ovarian cancer, Diem, but he convinced her she was sexier without the wig she was hiding under. AND THEN HE DID IT AGAIN, several years later on this summer’s season of The Challenge when her cancer (and their romance) had reoccured. Who could possibly resist a hot guy who tells you you’re more beautiful in your natural state than under the artifice you’ve constructed to hide your insecurities? No one. Even if you’ve already been down that road and it didn’t work out the first time. We understand, Diem. We understand. 

2. He’s a bad boy with a heart of gold – Sure he’s been kicked off one or two seasons of The Challenge for drunkenly fighting (usually with someone smaller than he is… because that’s everyone). And he smokes. Both of these are gross, but what girl doesn’t like a little bit of a fixer-upper? He’s had a hard life. He’s a little bit damaged and raw. He just needs the right woman to heal his wounds and he’ll settle down, right? And he’s always real sorry about the fighting. Oh, CT, we know, honey. It’s difficult and complicated to be you. 

3. He’s no dummy – In an episode this summer, CT had to guess his partner, Wes’s responses to various inciting questions about other cast members. If he guessed wrong, Wes would be dropped into the water he was suspended above. When asked who Wes thought the trashiest girl in the house was, rather than offend any of the ladies, CT answered ‘RIP Wes’ and Wes was dumped. Dude knows what side his bread is buttered on.

4. That accent – Boston accents aren’t known for their beauty, but CT makes it work. Half the time you don’t know exactly what he’s saying, but you don’t really care.

5. He’s loyal – In this season, CT was paired with a former ‘rival’ as a teammate. He and Wes have a long history of bad blood and general dislike. Once they’ve competed together, however, CT gets into a shouting match defending his teammate against the bullies of the game. He interviews (basically) that he’s going to dance with the one who brought him. Aw… 

6. This happened – 

I’m not even a fan of brute displays of strength, but DUDE. I have a girlfriend who says any man she dates has to pass ‘the bear test’. As in, if they were in the woods together and happened upon a bear, she wouldn’t have to be the one rescuing him from the bear. In a bear vs. CT match, I would be concerned for the bear.

7. Then he puts on the glasses and the white oxford shirt and you’re sure he’s a poet – I don’t even know if the damn glasses are even prescription, and frankly, it doesn’t matter.

8. He’s the underdog –  CT’s the lone wolf on every challenge he’s been in. He’s too strong a competitor to be ignored, but refuses to simply follow directions from the gang in charge. He likes to stir up trouble. He sometimes defeats himself. You want to see him win, partially because you know he probably won’t. Everyone loves an underdog.

9. He’s a gentleman (even while he’s a cad) – Diem finally succumbs to his advances and lets him kiss her at a bar. It looks like he’s sealed the deal when she comes back to his room that night. But as he is putting up a tent around the bed to keep the cameras out, she literally passes out, snoring, in his bed. He sighs and makes himself a bed on the floor, knowing full well the next morning she’s going to pretend she doesn’t even remember kissing him and he’ll be back to square one. His reenactment of the incident the next morning for the other guys is priceless.

10. The confidence – He knows we all love him. And we love that he knows it.

See, CT has our number. Even those of us who think muscles are kind of yucky are wrapped around his brutish, hairy (but sensitive and beautiful) finger.

I know what you’re thinking, That dude sounds like a violent, womanizing jackass who makes his living on a reality show 90% of its viewers are embarrassed to admit they actually watch.

We’re neither disagreeing with you, nor particularly proud of ourselves. We’re just saying:

Hey CT, call us when you’re done filming.  

One Response to What a Girl Wants (And We Kind of Hate Ourselves For It)

  1. I have so much to say in response to this. I vehemently disagree with #3, but wholeheartledy agree with #4.

    Still though, team Johnny Bananas.

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