The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Tonight… Is Pissing Me Off

Oh, Internet. I am irritated. That’s right, I’m irritated and I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and I know full well there won’t be a second to blog tomorrow and I’ve only posted one blog this week and no one in my family has been hospitalized or given birth so I totally can’t get away with the whole ‘oh things have just been so crazy I couldn’t possibly take three seconds to write anything’ bullshit. So here I am. You’re getting it all tonight. TRANSPARENCY, BABY.

Things I’m Irritated About Tonight:

1. Let’s just this one out there. My brokerage has merged with a national real estate company. I found out about lunchtime. I don’t understand the details yet. I was meh-to-whatever about it until I heard it will change my ‘split’. This is the portion my broker receives of my commissions with respect to the portion I receive. I’m currently HAPPY with my split. I imagine this will not go in my favor with the merge. I’m trying to take deep breaths (and big gulps of wine) and calm down until I know the details, but my gut says this will not go in my favor. At the very least I’m going to have to order new business cards and get used to a capital letter in the middle of my brokerage name. Which is just silly. (Dear New Brokerage, If I decide to stay with you, I apologize for the last comment. It was petty. It was the wine talking. Love, Me)

2. Tomorrow… is going to be ugly. You know how you decide you’re going to run a marathon, so you train for months and you know going in it’s going to be a mental and physical battle, but you’ve put in the hours and you trust you’re going to at least survive? Yeah, tomorrow is a real estate marathon and I’ve been sitting on the goddamn couch eating chili cheese fritos and watching Bravo for the last 6 months. I’m not prepared. It might kill me. I have 12 houses to show in Chandler from 10-1. Then I have a competitive listing appointment in Maricopa at 1:30. Which means I have to really have my game face (and an adorable outfit for brownie points) on because he’s interviewing multiple agents. And last, but certainly not least, I have to dash across FROM MARICOPA TO SAN TAN VALLEY for a final walkthrough on a new build I have closing Monday. I mean, right? It’s actually going to kill me. 

3. Jonas is testing the very outer limits of my patience with his latest dramatic interpretation of the world. As far as he’s concerned (at least last night and tonight) Gray’s errant bad dreams have been leaking out his ears and down from his top bunk to rain down on Jonas in the bottom bunk and sneak into his mind where they become trapped. I know, it’s a vivid and bizarre image coming from a 4 (almost 5) year old. It’s almost adorable and amusing, right? He’s so clever. So creative. So imaginative. SO GODDAMN ANNOYING in the middle of the night when he insists on sleeping with us and kicking me in the face. SO VERY EXASPERATING when he refuses to go to bed and instead sobs about how the dream catcher we hung in the window to ward off the attack of his brother’s falling dreams won’t help because the nightmare will just bounce around the room until it sticks in his mind again. He’s going to need to be medicated, right? Like fairly soon. My heart aches for his misery and my sanity.

4. Dear Target,

Your jeans were super cute when I bought them. I love them right out of the dryer. They fit perfectly in that slim, low-rise, right color manner. But it’s NOT OK that literally 17 minutes later it looks like I have a soggy diaper on and the crotch hangs 3 inches lower. It’s UNACCEPTABLE that after a full day’s wear I can remove the jeans WITHOUT UNBUTTONING THEM. I know I only paid $27 for these jeans but DUDE. I kind of hate you. And I used to love you. You’re making me regret our relationship. You’re making me feel dirty for spending my money on quick, cheap thrills. It’s like you never cared about me at all.

Disillusionedly,

A former love

WHEW. That’s mostly it. I think I’ve gotten almost everything off my chest. There’s one about my husband snapping at me to step away from my computer to eat dinner with the family when I was in the midst of a full work melt-down, but I’ll keep that one to myself (it doesn’t count that I just told it, right?). I feel much better. By Monday I’ll have my shit together and will post something more cohesive. Or all of this will have killed me and you’ll never hear from me again. One of the two.

6 Responses to Tonight… Is Pissing Me Off

  1. You had to mention seeing 12 houses and Maricopa in the same paragraph? I’m having flashbacks!

  2. HA – i don’t mean to laugh, but I do love your view of the world :) It sounds like you are kick arse at your job, so i am sure you will rock today…AND, Target, i completely agree. Although my purchase was a dress that seems to grow as the day goes on. because everyone wants to wear a cute fitted dress, and then go on to a TENT by the end.

    GOOD LUCK. =)

    (oh and hubs yells at me all the time….I tune out)

  3. Good luck today, don’t wear the jeans, (pack an energy bar in your purse and bring water!) and Jonas is a genius. He might use those powers for evil one day, but still. He’s good.

  4. But hey…. It’s Friday which means the wine drinking can double.

  5. Oh my gosh, your son is TOO funny! Hope he sleeps in his own bed tonight. And hope you survived your crazy day!

    btw, splurging on skinny jeans from JCrew is not the answer … same problem AND you’ll be out big $$! I learned this the hard way. :( My best luck so far has been at Old Navy – minimal stretch – but THEN they went and changed the cut of my favorite jeans. Or I gained weight. But I prefer to think it is the former.

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