Alright, already. I’m thankful:
1. I’m thankful it is finally cool enough I can order my children to play outside without concern they might actually burst into flames.
2. I’m thankful for push-up bras.
3. I’m thankful there are people I can hire to clean my bathrooms.
4. I’m thankful the boys are old enough to go downstairs in the morning on the weekends and watch TV without waking us up.
5. I’m thankful for Youtube tutorials on how to do your hair. Especially the ones by Asian girls because then I know it will probably work on my hair, too.
6. I’m thankful I have a large family who I actually kind of like to be around.
7. I’m thankful I’ve already eaten almost all of the lemon bars I made so I can soon stop making myself ill with lack of self-control on them.
8. I’m thankful for people who understand I’m mostly kidding. Sort of.
9. I’m thankful they still let adults do things like learn trapeze and ballet, even though we’re really too old to ever be any good at either.
10. I’m thankful we can buy booze at the grocery store and don’t have to screw around with our clocks twice a year.
11. I’m thankful my husband is willing to be the man and kill the spiders. I’m all for gender equality, except in situations involving arachnids or insects.
12. I’m thankful for soft blankets (even though we don’t really need them yet).
13. I’m thankful for fluffy white cats and lint rollers.
14. I’m thankful for health of loved ones, smart kids, general happiness with life and all of that other boring, trite shit.
15. I’m thankful that November is almost over and soon my Facebook feed will cease to be clogged with posts of people being thankful for their moms and socks and eating soup.