The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Things It Took Me 30 Years to Learn

For my 33rd birthday: here are 33 16 things it took me at least 30 years to learn (I tried to think of 33 things, but then I got too busy getting presents and relaxing and doing other birthday things, so I cut it short):

1. Wearing socks really does keep you generally warmer (and not just your feet) when it’s cold out. I wish I could go back to my 15 year old shivering, flip-flopped self and order her to put some socks on for her own good.

2. Putting things away instead of just putting them down is worth the extra time it takes just because then there’s not crap all over the place.

3. How to use my DSLR manually. Even though I’ve owned it since I was 25.

4. That thing people say, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” is utter bullshit. Many, many things taste better than skinny feels. Starting with bacon chocolate chip cookies. (My mother will disagree vehemently with this one, but that’s because she has no sense of smell, so she doesn’t fully appreciate how delicious food is. It’s sad. I’m going to start a charity foundation in her honor.)

5. No one’s ever going to say about me, “Wow, she’s such a neat and organized person,” and I’m over being embarrassed and apologetic about it. It doesn’t detract from my character.

6. Flossing doesn’t suck that bad. And it’s probably a good idea.

7. Some people respond to flattery and friendliness as a motivation to get things done, but some just need to be screamed at. It’s an important skill to be able to tell the difference.

8. Fast food is generally disgusting. I now understand why my dad used to call Taco Bell ‘dog food’.

9. The ‘new car smell’ isn’t actually worth the 25% of value of the car you lose once you drive it off the lot the first time. I’m just buying ‘pre-owned’ from here on out and getting one of those ‘new car smell’ air fresheners.

10. I feel strongly in the opposite direction from #9, regarding carpet. I don’t want to live on other people’s used carpets. It’s not that expensive and I’ve seen what we do to ours. I don’t want to think about what you’ve done to yours.

11. Going gray naturally sounded more authentic and less vain when I was a teenager, but really it just makes me look old. And who are we kidding; I’m too vain for it.

12. Entering the grocery store without a list is like handing my wallet to George Fry (the fictional owner of the Fry’s grocery store chain I just invented. He has a waxed handle bar mustache and wears a leather biker vest) and telling him to take what he likes.

13. Embracing my natural urge to speak my mind is generally the way to go. But not always. This is not a skill I have yet perfected.

14. If my husband were to lose his job and I never closed a deal again and we had to foreclose on our house and move in with my parents, I’d be a lucky, lucky gal. Because I’d still have the perfect husband and amazing kids and parents who would be happy to help. And then we’d rebuild. I’ve seen so much worse in the last few years. What it comes down to is I have the people I love. The cruddy economy can’t take that away.

15. All healthy, normal marriages go through extended periods of time where neither spouse can stand the other. It’s hunkering down and working through these times that ensures the success of the relationship.

16. 33 isn’t nearly as old as it was when I was 18.


21 Responses to Things It Took Me 30 Years to Learn

  1. Minuette, you make a Dad proud. Happy Birthday, sweetie.


  2. I remember in my younger years always thinking that college students looked so old… I really wonder what my younger self would think of me now – LOL!

    I love #14!!! and number 13 too – I think I am just learning that and still feel guilty at times when I do speak my mind… oh well… what can you do!?!

    anyhow – Happy Birthday! I am really happy you were born! Your a pretty cool chick!
    okay enough of the mush… CHEERS!

  3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! If you come up with the other 17 I’ll be interested. The first 16 were spot on!!!!

  4. You are an amazing young woman! Numbers 14 and 15 are so true. There are days that test you, but like you say together you CAN rebuild. You are so strong and we love you. Happy Birthday!

  5. 8. Fast food is generally disgusting. I now understand why my dad used to call Taco Bell ‘dog food’.

    Hey! Are you coming to Ignite Phoenix 10 on Friday. I’m presenting, and my topic is “Better Living Through Fast Food”.

    • I won’t be there Friday, Jay, but I will definitely watch the video when it’s put up! Good luck!

  6. Your mother would be so proud – especially about the fact that you’ve learned to wear socks. Too bad you never tell her, “Mom, you were right.” Love you, Birthday Girl!

  7. First time reader, just dropping by because someone linked me here. First of all – happy birthday! =D
    Secondly, I just wanted to say that you’ve gained my respect with #7. I have been a victim of “screamers” all my life, and they only make me miserable – never productive. I hope you can impart your knowledge of the two different types to other people as well.

  8. I love it Mini, all of it! Way to be. Happy Birthday!

  9. Beautifully said Elizabeth! I especially like #16! Feeling young again after reading this. Thank you for sharing!

  10. I think you’re way more hot and awesome than you were at 18. So do you actually own more than one pair of socks now? I remember that being an issue every time you came up to Flag! ha! I’m so glad you were spoiled for your birthday. You deserve it!

  11. I feel like we must’ve been raised with some kind of subconscious sock aversion. I was totally irrationally opposed to them, but have seen the sock light and will never go back.

    • Last winter was seriously the first winter I chose to wear socks regularly when I was chilly. And I wasn’t chilly. It sincerely made me warm all winter. So weird. I had no idea.

  12. I am particularly fond of #11.
    And that your parents read this and leave encouraging and slightly snarky comments, which I can hear in their voices when I read. 🙂

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