Our Easter egg hunt yesterday revealed a bunch of bossy, whiny, spoiled babies who would do anything to win. And that was the adults.
The egg hunt is the big Easter tradition at my parents’ house. It started when we were kids with actual colored eggs, but several years ago, my mother, the Egg Hunt Grand Master, switched to plastic eggs she could put clues and prizes in. This is a positive for me, because before, when the point was really just to find as many eggs as possible, my amazonian and ridiculously athletic brother and sister would basically just knock me down and steal my eggs. Now there’s an element of puzzle solving to the whole thing that evens it out a little bit.
This year, the people who competed were: my sister, my brother, my husband, my brother’s girlfriend, my sister’s friend, Jen and her other friend, Scotty and a family friend who used to be my sister’s swim coach, Todd (oh, and me, of course). It was a 12 egg hunt and we had to find them in order. Each egg found was worth between 1 and 3 points to whoever found it first, and then the person with the most points at the end won. Unfortunately, I don’t have pictures of the event because it was really too violent to put on the Internet. The carnage would shock and horrify even the most worldly eyes.
You have to realize that I come from a competitive family. My sister was a world ranked swimmer through high school and college, my brother also swam competitively and if my dad isn’t playing ultimate Frisbee he’s training for his next biathlon. They used to have regular contests at the dinner table about who had the biggest bicep or the most defined calf muscle.
During the hunt, two small children were knocked over, one spa cover strap was broken, a vase of potpourri was decimated and one contestant had his head dunked in the spa while fully clothed. The balcony from my parent’s bedroom survived, but just barely. I think they’re going to have a structural engineer out today to certify it is still sound.
The final result was a tie between Scotty and Todd. That’s right, my highly competitive family didn’t even place. You can imagine the sour grapes. To break the tie, we divided up into support teams based on the college we attended (there’s a strong UA vs. ASU rivalry in the family) to answer trivia questions about, of course, the only state school none of us had attended: NAU. It was an honestly pathetic showing. There were three questions that each team had to answer on paper. The team who answered the most was the winner. The winning number was ONE.
So tell me, do you know the answer to these?
1. What is the school mascot for NAU?
2. What are the school colors for NAU?
3. What is the female to male ratio at NAU?
Anyway, it was a typically raucous and rowdy holiday at my parent’s house. I hope your Easter was just as fun! Oh, and here’s a little fodder for the Grandparents. This was the much less violent, much more tame children’s egg hunt:
If only we could all be so mature.