The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

The First Day

Can you help me with something before you go?

What is it?

I want to take a picture of the kids sitting on the wall in front of the house.

*SIGH* Well I have to get gas before work, and someone dirtied every pan in the house making waffles and bacon for breakfast, so I have to get those all in the dishwasher before I go so the cleaning people can come…

It’s the first day of school, I need a picture.

OK, if we do it quick.

***

Everyone outside, NOW!

Why do you have your backpacks and all your stuff?

Dad told us to bring them.

Put them down and come over here.

But if they don’t have backpacks, how can it be a ‘First Day of School’ picture?

I just want a picture of the kids on the first day of school. We don’t need props indicating the day and time. I will label the picture, “First Day of School, 2011″ in this new fangled thing I have called my laptop, and that’s how we’ll know it was the first day of school in 2011.

It’s stupid to do it without backpacks.

I love it when you have and idea for something and ask someone to help you execute it and then they tell you how you’re doing it all wrong.

Fine. Dudes, MOM SAID DROP YOUR STUFF ALREADY AND GET OVER HERE!

DON’T YELL AT THEM! NO YELLING AT ANYONE ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE CALM AND HAVE A GREAT GODDAMN DAY.

Sorry. Geez.

I’m not going up there. I’ll fall.

Stop wiggling around and acting like a spaz and you won’t fall. Sit still. Smile.

Aaaahhhh… I’m gonna fall, I’m gonna fall… *Whimper*

If you don’t smile and look happy so I can take the picture I’m leaving you up there for the rest of the day.


This photo is entitled: Portrait of a Payoff Possibly Not Worth The Effort That Went Into It First Day of School, 2011


7 Responses to The First Day

  1. The Google face-emotion analysis application (the Picassa photo-emote tool … go ahead and google it) indicates that Gray was the one worried about falling off. Did it get it right?

    Congratulations to all of you for surviving Summer’11.

    Dad

  2. Ah yes, excellent analysis. (I googled it. I apparently will never learn that my father is just making shit up 53% of the time.)

  3. OK- I officially love your father.

  4. veritee, the gmail application that scans text-based files for accuracy, reports that more than 60% of my text contains some level of untruth.

    Dad

  5. Mini, Were you really busy day drinking, hanging out at the community pool, and taking a nice long afternoon nap?

  6. Bon bons. I hope they are back on the menu. That and your incessant watching of soap operas.

    😉

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