The Blind Trying to Find The Blind

This is what happens every time my mother and I are trying to get to the same place if we haven’t both been there 800 times previously:

My mom: I’m here… where are you?

Me: I’m… here too. Where specifically are you?

My mom: I’m just turning into a parking lot. There’s a Home Depot and a Chili’s and one of those paint your own pottery stores…

Me: I don’t know where any of those are. I’m right by the theater. Well sort of back behind the theater. It was that one we saw Wreck-it Ralph at. Remember that one? Oh wait, you weren’t with us. Do you see a theater?

My mom: There’s a theater here. But I can’t get into the parking lot right in front of it. How do you get into that lot? There’s like not a way in!

Me: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Maybe you’re in the wrong complex. Do you see a Target?

My mom: No… is there a Target where you are?

Me: I don’t know. But I do see a truck with a Target logo on it. It’s by some trees.

My mom: There’s trees and a truck where I am too. But the truck doesn’t have a Target logo. So it’s probably different trees. I don’t know what to do.

Me: Ok, we can figure this out. Do you see guys in neon yellow t-shirts directing cars to parking?

My mom: Yes, there’s one right here.

Me: Hand him your phone and let me talk to him.

My mom: Sir! Can you please speak to my daughter on my phone?

Random guy parking cars: Hello?

Me: Hi, I’m trying to get to my mother so she can drop my son off to me but we can’t find each other, so I need you to tell me where you are. Or I could tell you where I am and you could explain it to her… oh wait, I think I actually see you! I’m behind you! I’m waiving and I’m wearing a pink tanktop. Do you see me? No, turn the other way. Hi!!

Random guy: Oh… yes, I see you.

Me: Can you just let my mom pull into that parking lot for the movie theater for a second even though she’s not going to a movie? I just need to get my son out of the car.

Random guy: Whatever.

My mom: Oh, I see you now!

Me: Whew, that actually went pretty well this time.

My mom: I KNOW.