The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Standing Out (or Even Outstanding) in Ahwatukee

I always tell my sellers that getting the best price for their house is about two things and only two things: price and exposure. It needs to first be priced correctly to get any kind of attention at all, and then it needs to be well marketed. That’s it; that’s the magic formula.

Of course, both of these things are open to interpretation. It’s not always as easy as just posting a new listing to every website you can find. I have a theory about marketing my properties that I’ve been working for the last 10 months or so that lots of agents would probably disagree with (or at least mock). But that doesn’t matter, because so far, it’s worked.

My theory is this: the text and photo captions on the MLS listings are so dry and meaningless that most people searching just blip over them. Buyers and agents just flip through listings glancing at photos and blip right over the text we listing agents slave over. There’s really only so many ways you can say ‘This house is splendiferoius!’ (Also? Most aren’t.)

So I’ve been attempting to spice up my descriptions in order to make them eye catching and memorable. Perfect punctuation and grammar isn’t going to get you a second look, but my theory is that maybe this will:

This house is so awesome there is no way I’m going to be able to sufficiently describe its greatness in the space provided here. I should just give up. You should just come see it. OK, I’ll give it a try, but in order to conserve space I’m going to omit all proper sentence structure and just give you key phrases of fabulousness: Mountain Park Ranch, corner lot, 2.5 car epoxy floor garage, vaulted ceilings, newish roof, newish Trane A/C, stainless steel appliances, tile throughout (except bedrooms), big walk-in closet in master, move-in ready, granite counters in kitchen, kitchen island, lots of light, well cared for, neutral paint, shed on side of the house, koi pond, low HOA fees, great community pools, NORMAL SALE (sellers actually have equity and will act reasonably!), whoops, ran out of spa

Of course it was raining the day this photo was taken. You know, like the only day it has rained this year. So picture this lovely house with a blue sky behind, because that's how it looks the other 364 days.

You know having 'mountain views' is something of a status symbol here? 'Oh, yes, I have MOUNTAIN VIEWS from my front drive, do you?'

And look, TWO different mountain views! That's like practically the Rolls Royce of mountain views.

Granite counters and stainless appliances, not bad at all. (OK, it's granite tile, not slab. But it's not that lousy job of granite tile with the thick grout. It's the classy thin grout granite tile. Still awesome.)

You may love the curtains, but you can't have them, the sellers are taking them with. They'll fight you to the death for them; these curtains are like another child. (Kidding. Sort of. They're taking the curtains.)

It's a bedroom incognito. The bedroom is disguised as an office. But don't worry, there's a closet, it's really a bedroom.

Isn't that a pretty string of lights on this cute patio? I know, it is. But you can't have those either. Still a nice patio, though

Nice big lot. You can barely see that koi pond off in the distance there. Wait, there's a koi pond???

Yep, how rad is that, a koi pond! Hi, fishy, fishy!

And totally not a lame 'takes up the whole yard and would be a total waste for someone not interested in caring for fish' kinda koi pond. Nope, this one's off in the corner, so it could be easily disposed of for someone who's not the 'koi pond' type (although I don't know who those people are, koi ponds are awesome!).

Because all you really want is your house to stick out enough in a buyer’s head for them to want to walk through the door, then the house has to tell its own story.

By the way, if you’re in the market for an Ahwatukee cutie like this one (4/2/2.5, 1833 sqft, $237K), email me! We just listed this one today!

8 Responses to Standing Out (or Even Outstanding) in Ahwatukee

  1. I just HAVE to ask. Did you really mean “coy” not koi?

  2. Crap, Jane! hopefully you’re the only one who’s read this!

  3. well that’s humiliating.

  4. I’ve been laughing about the “coy” pond too… That’s awesome!!!! I thought Liz meant the faux pax. It works!!!!

  5. Grrr… you changed it!!!!

  6. Oh, Eva, that’s only awesome if I actually meant to do it and wasn’t just a horrible speller!

  7. this is easily the funniest and best post you’ve had to date. and I already set the bar pretty high before this. plus, I didn’t find “coy” anyplace, which means you already fixed it, and should delete the comments that refer to it (except this one).

  8. Pingback: Elizabeth Newlin – Arizona Real Estate Agent » Blog Archive » Writing Listing Descriptions: Why I’m Bald On One Side of My Head

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