The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Pros and Cons of Vacation

Yep, still vacaying it up, bitches. Stop being so jealous. It’s not all Johnny Hangovers* and Apples to Apples out here (although there is quite a bit of both). When on vacation you still have to take the good with the bad. So far we’ve definitely had some of each. In case you want to live vicariously, I’ll give you a quick rundown.

PROS:

Johnny Hangovers, sweet tea lemonade, bloody marys, boxed wine and many, many beers.

Apples to Apples, Othello, Chess, Poker, Backgammon, Kindles, Freaks and Geeks on the iPad and hair wraps we resurrected from the 1980s.

Nice, temperate San Diego weather (AKA: not Phoenix).

Awesome family dinners cooked by someone new every night.

Staying 20 steps from the beach at Mission.

My sister and our friend, Todd, both make me pee my pants with laughter like 10 times a day.

My kids are finally old enough this year that I don’t spend 90% of the vacation trying to keep them from annoying other people, breaking stuff and/or inadvertently killing themselves.

I’ve relearned how to ride a bike and it turns out it is kinda fun.

We rented surfboards for the week.

I totally saw a two foot long guitarfish ray in a foot of water on the beach a couple of days ago. It was steps from me and amazing.

CONS:

I got viciously sunburned on Day 2 during the Yoga Bike Ride From Hell and have had a raccoon face and scalded skin on most of my body since.

There was an unfortunate incident at the house next door (between us and the beach) early in the week that has been officially named The Poop Water Problem. Suffice it to say there was a growing flood of liquid coming from the house that we had to cross to get to the beach for about 12 hours before the police and a HAZMAT squad showed up and evacuated the house and cordoned off the area. This was, of course, after we had all walked through the flood like 11 times. Barefoot.

The house my mom rented this year (yes, I recognize that I shouldn’t be complaining about a house I didn’t have to arrange to rent or pay for) is kind of a DIY disaster that hasn’t been well kept up. The bathroom next to our bedroom is a deathtrap. The toilet is a step down from the door you take to get in so God help you if you have to pee in the middle of the night. The shower is an inexplicable and almost unusable combination of shiny black tile, slanted walls and bare pipes. Our bed has a box spring that is broken in the center so the mattress dips to a V in the center. I haven’t snuggled so close to my husband since college. The kitchen came equipped with ants and fruit flies, but without a cutting board.

I did actually make it to the yoga studio yesterday in a timely manner when I tried for the second time to take a class, but it turns out Aerial Silks is the fricking hardest thing I’ve ever attempted in my life and almost killed me. And then I had to ride the 4.1 miles back to the house against the wind. It’s a miracle they didn’t find my body on the road next to Sea World roasting over a spit being attended to by homeless men who just thought I was another bit of roadkill ripe for dinner. I think I may have found my maximum adventure line: ballet and trapeze – YES, aerial silks – NO.

My nephew, Colby, came down with an ear infection two days ago, so he’s now acting like a normal 9 month old (occasionally fussy and somewhat needy) instead of the perfect angel who never makes a peep and smiles at everything, he usually is. Poor sad baby (although I actually think the whole thing may have been more stressful for his parents than him).

You know how when you see a movie about surfing it’s like all silent beauty with balance and wonder? Yeah, they left out the part where you stand up for 0.8 seconds and then fall directly into the water, get pulled under the wave, swallow a gallon of sea water, start to stand back up on the sand to recover only to have your own board hit you directly in the mouth and knock you under the water again and then when you finally drag yourself up to a standing position again you realize your bikini top is totally off your left boob and you’re facing toward the crowded beach. And that’s the best case scenario.

That’s the vacation so far in a nutshell. The good has definitely outweighed the bad. We’re maybe not ever coming back. We can get used to uncomfortable showers and the possibility of poop water.

*A type of beergarita cocktail my BIL, John, invented and our friend, Todd, named.

3 Responses to Pros and Cons of Vacation

  1. I’m going to need more information about this “beergarita” concoction…

  2. Hey, gonna give us the recipe for that Johnny Hangover, TEASE?!

    (Poop water is the worst…I hope your feet haven’t suffered any repercussions of that…)

  3. Would you be desirous about exchanging hyperlinks?

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