The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Percolating

I should probably get my shit together and create a fully-formed post about… something, but it’s Tuesday after a three-day weekend, the kids start tennis lessons tonight, my cleaning people come tomorrow and I have several work tasks that desperately need completing. So you’re getting my random thoughts:

1. As I walked Jonas into school today I noticed on his left foot he was wearing one blue sock and a tennis shoe and on his right foot he was wearing only his tennis shoe, sockless. I had a brief thought about birth order characteristics and how the youngest tends to end up in professions where they seek the spotlight (actor, artist, comedian, etc) and the fact that it all makes sense. Of course they want someone to pay attention to them; by the time they come around their mothers can’t even be bothered to make sure they’re wearing socks on both feet before leaving the house. But then I got distracted by a work text and ushered him through the door, single sock and all.

2. Dear Title Lady I Talked to Today,

Yes, I’m aware negotiating short sales is ‘a lot of work’. I’ve been in those shoes many a time. But the listing agent on the deal you are supposed to be the ‘neutral third party’ for isn’t ‘working for free’. He may also have a law degree that allows him to charge an additional ‘negotiating fee’ to my buyer, but he’s still the listing agent and he’s already getting 1% more of the commission than I am when this sucker closes, whether or not he gets his cruddy ‘negotiating fee’. This is neither here nor there, however, because my buyers and I are backed up against the wall if they want this house. We have to do what the listing agent and the bank are requiring, even if we don’t agree with it, or we will lose the house. It would be nice, though, if you would at least pretend to be following the contract and would require the listing agent to notify us in writing and give us a chance to agree, in writing, to any new random terms they come up with, rather than just defending them because, ‘they have so many files; they’re just really busy’.

Sincerely,

Not In The Mood Today

3. I kind of want to get on board with this whole Paleo Diet revolution. I want a magical diet to exist that both corrects auto-immune diseases and makes me lose 12 lbs of only belly fat in 30 days. But I’m having trouble getting over the fact that the very first place I ever heard of it was in an article entitled ‘The 6 Dumbest Fad Diets’. It was number 3. It also doesn’t help that when I read the rules of what you are and are not allowed to eat, on the Not Allowed side is ‘dairy’, but on the Good Fats, Allowed side is ‘butter’. I could be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure butter is dairy. At least it’s in the dairy section at the grocery store. I’m also pretty sure the cave people didn’t have butter. But I think they did have potatoes. How come I can’t have potatoes on this diet? I’m not getting this at all. I’m not saying I won’t attempt it, but my inner skeptic is super a lot rolling his eyes at the rest of me over this (yes, my inner skeptic is a man. Is that weird?).

I think that’s all I’ve got today. I’ll try to be more cohesive tomorrow.

3 Responses to Percolating

  1. ‘Not Allowed: dairy’
    ‘Allowed: butter’

    It’s like a diet written up by the staff at The Onion.

  2. OK, i know this is becoming my shtick around here, but there is a Jim Gaffigan joke about him being the 6th kid in a Catholic family that goes something along the lines of: “By the time you’re the 6th kid, your parents don’t even care anymore… My oldest brother was named after my great-grandfather… my little brother was named after a sandwich my mom had. And he had to babysit his brother Reuben.”

  3. Your inner skeptic is man…and sounds suspiciously like Jim Tolar, who is Snopes-ing this diet as we speak.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Facebook comments: