The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

Party People

Dear Everyone I Know Who Has Kids,

I know I just recently wrote you a letter telling you why you suck. This is not one of those. In fact, this letter is to acknowledge and apologize for my own suckitude. It’s true. I kind of really suck.

So here’s the thing: You totally thoughtfully and with much effort, I’m sure, mailed to us an adorable birthday invitation to your kiddo’s party. No really, it’s so cute. The paper cutouts and handwritten directions totally made me feel inferior as a parent and human being. It’s a work of art. And the picture of your little one? Made my womb ache. Seriously. I had to take a Tylenol for womb pain; it was that cute.

When I got this invite in the mail, I immediately took it over to my office (AKA: the kitchen table, piled high with papers, my laptop, a scanner and other crap) and checked my calendar to see if we were free for the party. I saw that it was a Saturday afternoon in about a month.

That Saturday is currently looking open, so I started to make note of your party, but then I thought about it. I don’t have work on the calendar in one month, yet, but I’ve shown property the last 7 Saturday in a row during this time slot. I could schedule around the party and make a point not to show property that Saturday, but until they perfect cloning or a money tree I can cultivate in my backyard, not working isn’t really an option.

Here’s what I ended up doing; I took your sweet invite and I put it on the fridge under a super strong magnet. I put it right at eye-level so I wouldn’t forget. I tabled the issue because hey, maybe I will not have appointments that day! Maybe it will be one of those lovely (but disconcerting) quiet weekends and then I really could go to the party. Or maybe I’ll decide to send Jason alone, with all three kids. (I do prefer to come home to a lack of bloodshed and a living family, though, so that one’s probably not super likely, until they invent a medication that grows patience in adults and/or calmness and common sense in children.)

As of now I have roughly 45 of those invites on the fridge. And not only did I not mark any of them on the calendar, but I also didn’t RSVP to any of them. I didn’t say we were going and I didn’t say we weren’t going. I felt guilty just assuming I’ll have to work and saying I’m skipping your party regardless, because I really do want to go! But I didn’t want you to count on the five of us knowing that in all likelihood, I’m going to be touring a buyer around Gilbert to 9 houses and then rushing to meet a different client for a final walk-through right after and Jason and the boys will be fending for themselves in a way that will involve trying not to kill each other and also get a few things done around the house.

Please take comfort in knowing that when you called/emailed/texted the day before your party to ask, ‘Um, HELLO? Are you coming (the Asshole that belongs right here is implied)?’ I felt like a horrible friend. I know I’m developing a reputation. I also know it means no one will be attending my kids’ parties any time soon. It’s OK, I understand. I’m actually only going to invite kids from their classes who don’t yet know I’m that girl who doesn’t RSVP and almost never comes.

Someday I’ll learn how to manage this all correctly. It will probably be when I’m 85 and no one is inviting me to anything anymore, but still, someday I’ll get it. Until then, know that I love you and your kid and I know that I’m an Asshole. I wish I could go to your parties.

Love and kisses,

The Girl Who Sucks at RSVPing

PS – I also almost never write thank you notes. I know, I’m going to hell.


7 Responses to Party People

  1. Are these those family parties or just the kids? If it’s just the kids maybe you could immediately upon receiving the invite contact the host(ess) and ask who else may be coming who doesn’t work on weekends and hook your kid up with a ride so they get to go to the party and then just assume you’ll be working that day. You can always reciprocate in some manner. You didn’t ask for ideas and I don’t usually offer unsolicitated advise – just thought I’d throw that out there. 🙂

  2. Ha ha! You crack me up. I feel the same way sometimes. But, Amie is still young and not in a big school yet. She has three others in her preschool and one is a jehovah’s witness! So, I can only imagine what will happen when she starts kindergarten.
    On the thank you note aspect, I made Amie write hers this year. Otherwise, probably wouldn’t have happened.

    Oh, you should probably take the 45+ invites off the fridge before it starts to tip over.

  3. If it is any comfort at all, once the kiddos hit high school, the party plans rarely involve parents or (you hope) police. But often there is a lot of ‘splaining going on once the Facebook pics are posted. And there are most definitely no cute and adorable invitations…just phone numbers scrawled on the invitees arms with a Sharpie…Just an FYI…

  4. I really don’t understand why you can’t make time for these things. Your lack of personal correspondence is offensive. I hope at some point, when you aren’t running a successful business, being a mom to three, being a pet owner, growing your own food, taking care of your own soul with dance and trapeeze and the occasional day away from everything and everyone, you get your shit together. Because obviously your priorities aren’t straight.

    In other words — plate full. Those who love you get it. Those who don’t can piss off. You didn’t want to go to their parties anyway.

  5. I appreciate your blogs genuine style & addressing what so many working mothers go through. I’m unfortunately a recent single mom (not by choice-so I feel the same uh oh’s in trying to get it all covered). Between a daunting commute between Litchfield Park & Cave Creek juggling without dropping any unintentional balls is impossible. We all universally are going through an etiquette adjustment stage to forming a strong sense of community. When I say community…I mean our families, friends, & those who want & strive to be the best for each other & helping each other in making things work! Between our parenting, doing what’s best by our kids, economics, all while keeping a positive attitude & a sense of humor…we live in a time now where the priority of dropping what your doing to show 9 houses in that small window of opportunity is no longer an option, it’s a act now or I’ll find the next Realtor to do it for me! I feel the pain on so many levels! But we will all continue to make the best of it in helping good people find good homes & raise happy children! Love your blog! Thanks for saying what so many of us are going through!

  6. OMG- soooo ditto what Kelli said!!

  7. Just be thankful the police aren’t breaking up your kid’s parties. Trust me on this.

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