The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

I’m Back!

That’s right, this blog hasn’t yet been abandoned to decay and be picked clean by scavengers until it’s nothing but a pile of bleached bones. I was gone a few weeks, but that was a just a vacation. No need to worry; as I’m sure you were.

How will I ever get through life without the overshare and occasional real estate tidbit that is Real Estate Tangent? I don’t even know what seemingly innocuous thing is making Elizabeth’s head explode today or what embarrassing situation she’s gotten herself into in the last 10 minutes. My life feels so empty.

It’s alright, my dear readers. I made it through the holidays and the big 10 year anniversary vacation to Cancun and I’m here again to entertain you and humiliate myself (Did I tell you about the time right before Christmas when I was on cold meds and showing property, neglected to lock the bathroom door and my buyers walked in on me peeing? No? Well that’s the whole story. But with more horror on both my part and I would imagine, that of the lovely couple who just wanted to see whether the downstairs lavatory had a shower, and not the color of my underwear.).

Well, I’m sort of here. I have to confess, after a full week in Mexico at a child-free all-inclusive resort I’m having a bit of culture shock back at home. I keep turning toward my middle son across the room and gesturing for another cocktail, and feeling confused and disappointed when a Pina Colada doesn’t quickly materialize. How am I supposed to live again in a world where drinking is only appropriate after 5pm and I’m the one expected to do things like pick my own towels up off the floor and make dinner when I’ve spent the last week in paradise?

So yeah. My brain is still a bit fuzzy with the unfairness and tragedy of it all. But don’t you worry, I’ll get through it all. To help facilitate my transition back into the cold cruel world, I just ate half a box of Triscuits with hummus, port wine cheese and salami for lunch and I’m finishing it off with a Reese’s peanut butter cup (ok, 2). And you’re getting vacation photos as my inaugural post.

I was taking this picture of Jason in his favorite place in the resort when a nice couple came up and asked if I wanted to get in the picture also.

And because I'm a wuss and didn't want to get into the cold pool, I climbed across to get in and the guy graciously took this flattering picture. I'm just glad he didn't get one where I was doing the splits or when I'm pretty sure my right boob had fallen out.

This is the largest temple at the Mayan ruins of Chichen Izta. Jason was in architecture-geek heaven.

 

This is an arena where the Mayans used to play some soccer/basketball hybrid that ended in the bloody sacrifice of the losing captain. Or the winning one. The archeologists aren't sure on that one. Suffice it to say being a professional athlete in Chichen Itza wasn't the awesome hooker and blow adventure it is in the present day US.

When we walked around the corner of this giant snake sculpture ruin thing two huge iguanas totally got into a fight and chased each other around a bunch. I'm pretty sure they're on the tour guide payroll.

Gratuitous posing.

Apparently in 2005 some lady fell off the top of this thing and died, so tourists are no longer allowed to climb it. I hope they put on her tombstone, "The dumbass who ruined it for everyone else."

Excessively up-the-nose shot.

This is the Sacred Cenote of Chichen Itza. Apparently it's a giant sinkhole with water at the bottom. It was dregged in the early 1900s and they found a bunch of human remains at the bottom. The Mayans used to throw people off that platform into the water below as a sacrifice. Because deep murky wells aren't creepy enough without that mental picture.

The Mayans were kind of dicks, right?

This was another cenote we stopped by on our way home from Chichen Itza. It had a very small opening up top and then stairs that went down into the dark cave with the water underneath. We walked down, but didn't swim like lots of people were down there. Mostly because of the dead people and underground river monsters I was sure were in the water, but also because I was fairly certain the stalactites were going to break off and impale us.

I was going to post all of the pictures today, but there are a ridiculous amount of them. And each with a story, natch. Come back Wednesday for the zipline, the bungee swing, the beach and several unflattering pictures of the Newlins in crotchally confining harnesses.

9 Responses to I’m Back!

  1. I totally went to Cancun a few years ago /w my parents/family and went scuba diving instead of going to Chichen Itza. Now I feel like I really missed out…

    It’s hard to realize the grandeur of a place like that – thanks for sharing!

    • It was really cool and generally worth the 3 hour bus ride from hell where a guy totally puked like right next to us. But we didn’t get to do any scuba diving either and kind of feel like we missed out on that. šŸ˜€

  2. hookers. blow. and dicks. I need this kind of humor every Monday. I am so glad you are back! Looks like a beautiful and fun trip.

  3. So cool..was showing tanner these pictures and he told me exactly what these were from…..apparently there is a backyardigans show about Chizan, eatza, pizza….lol! I so want to do this. Ty and I are coming up on 20 soon.

    • Ha! Backyardigans. That’s too funny. And you and Tyler totally need to go somewhere good for 20 years!

  4. “crotchally confining harnesses” Hilarious. I can’t wait to have you as a guest on the podcast i keep talking about starting but probably never will.

  5. What Kelli said! And everybody else. :-)

  6. Pingback: Cancun Photos Part II – Real Estate Tangent

  7. I am with Kelli, the hookers and blow bit made me gush Gatorade out my nose.

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