The highs and lows of parenting and real estate.

I Think I Was in Colorado Last Weekend

Today I’m finishing up my summer blog post series entitled, Pictures of Me on Vacation Posing With People You May or May Not Give a Crap About (alternately titled, My Clients Want To Know If I’m Done Going Out Of Town For Chrissakes Yet) with my Colorado segment.

As you know, this blog is intended to be an Educational Blog (sometimes I teach about how to buy a short sale property, sometimes I teach about how to get the toothpaste your 3 year old squirted onto your cat’s head off without losing an eye; we’re about diversity here at Real Estate Tangent). Today I’m going to teach you things about the state of Colorado. Due to the itinerary of the trip, I’m limited to the following topics:

The Awesomeness of Outlet Malls

Dogs Named After Political Figures Combined With Country Singers

When People Talk About How Temperate Colorado Is In The Summer They’re Forgetting About Heat Waves and Houses Without AC

Jorts and Yoga Pants Are Both Inappropriate Forms of Clothing for Whitewater Rafting

Or, the topic I ended up choosing because it’s the one I learned the most about,

Cocktails of Colorado

That’s right, People, get ready to learn about the art of drinking your way through Colorado. In fact, if you’re headed to the Denver area soon, and don’t really mind not completely remembering the entire trip, you might want to print this out and take it with you like a roadmap of inebriation. Although, if you haven’t spent the summer training for the excursion with several other trips revolving around boozing it up, you might want to get a doctor’s consent before attempting anything quite as strenuous as we did.

Cocktail 1: Traditional Mimosas at The Olive Branch in Colorado Springs

What’s in it: Champagne and OJ

Rad or less so: Less so. I think the OJ was too pulpy and sweet, or it’s possible my stomach just isn’t used to booze at 8AM on a Thursday, but I felt kind of ill after we had these. Cheerful and ready for a nap, but ill. They weren’t my favorite of the weekend, but I’d rather start out meh and end up awesome than the other way around.

After 2 you’ll feel like:

So definitely not all bad.

Cocktail 2: Calimocho at Ondos in Cherry Creek

What’s in it: Red wine and coke

Rad or less so: Pretty rad. I think it’s the Brazilian version of a wine spritzer. Not my favorite name, though. At least twice during dinner people asked me if I liked my Calimocho and I looked around because I thought they must have been speaking to the guy eating pepper and ox tail soup sitting behind me. Of course that may have been the mimosas and wine in combination with the Calimocho.

After 2 you’ll feel like: Having a spirited discussion about tiny cowboys and life skills they teach you when you join a sorority.

Cocktail 3: Margaritas at Tequilas in Golden

What’s in it: Margarita type stuff, duh.

Rad or Less So: Rad. We were there during happy hour for a late lunch and these babies were two for $6. There are few things in life I love more than margaritas.

After 3 you’ll feel like:

*

All of your normal reservations about voluntarily hugging people have melted away.

Cocktail 4: Moscow Mules at some bar in Denver

What’s in it: Ginger beer… lime juice? other stuff? Honestly this was after the margaritas so when I went to write this today I thought the cocktails we had Friday night were called ‘Drug Mules’. But then I Googled that to try to figure out where we had them and all I got was a how-to lesson on swallowing a condom filled with cocaine without puking. I finally determined it must have been the less illicit ‘Moscow Mule’ I had 3 of. But I still don’t know where or much of what was in it. There was a cute bartender whose wife was 27 weeks pregnant serving them to us, though.

Rad or less so: Totally rad. You know, from what I remember.

After 3 you’ll feel like:

**

More voluntary touching of people and general merriment. By the end of the night you’ll see no reason to even pretend you’re sober for photos and you totally won’t mind that you’re inappropriately dressed for the rainstorm you’re standing in.

Cocktail 5: Bottomless Blood Orange Mimosas at Root Down

What’s in it: Tart blood orange juice and champagne

Rad or less so: My very favorite of the weekend. These were not too sweet and not too champagney (yes, that’s a word). At $13 for as many as you could drink or until you’re ‘chemically inconvenienced’ (according to the menu) it was a bargain and a treat.

After (?***) you’ll feel like:

Making this face, apparently. I took like three pictures of these two and they look the same in all of them. BJ (on the right) had been there Mimosaing (also a word) it up since 10AM (we got there at 2PM), so we had to work hard to catch up.

By the end of our visit to this restaurant we’d also decided the chick in that painting’s name must be Mimosa. You know, because she’s bottomless. I think they were glad when we left.

 

*These two pictures were blatantly stolen from Kelli’s flickr site.

**My poor sister in law and her boyfriend didn’t have nearly as many Colorado cocktails as I did. We just dragged her around and made her pose with her boyfriend and put up with our drunken ramblings.

***We collectively couldn’t remember how many times they’d refilled us.

7 Responses to I Think I Was in Colorado Last Weekend

  1. Wow. Just wow. You ladies look like you had an amazing time!

  2. If you needed a grad thesis for an AA entrance exam, I’m pretty sure we just sailed into the valedictorian class.

    Holy moses.

    I didn’t not remember drinking all of that. And am not in least bit embarrassed we did. Seriously a great weekend. SO SO SO fun. Although my liver kinda hurts.

  3. Why yes, I am crying I am laughing so hard.

  4. So, the white water rafting part wasn’t so much an adventure as it was an intervention.

    Well done.

  5. Good comments all. My liver hurts just reading this ~ I can only imagine actually consuming all of this liquor. And I consider myself a pretty capable drinker.

  6. Pretty sure it was a ‘drug mule’ at Lola’s. I vaguely remember some conversation Kelli had with hot “my wife is preggo” bartender about how the drug mule on their menu was different from the moscow mule. I did not partake in the Mule, but loved their Mohitos. Highly recommend. And – drink lots of water.

  7. It’s literally impossible to know how many mimosas one drank at Root Down, because they never let your glass get even half empty (half full?)! Favorite place ever.

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