I haven’t been doing The Running. Or The Blogging.
I have lots of excuses:
- So. much. working.
- Circus classes are both exercise and a creative outlet, so that’s where I’ve been focusing my time and energy.
- Offspring require feeding. Like every day.
- It’s hot. I hate hot.
- Being funny is stressful.
- TV has gotten so much better in the last few years, amirite?
- Who’s going to read all those Jezebel articles if I don’t?
- I’ve been busy learning how to do my make-up from Youtube videos ever since I got super old and need it.
But mostly, I think it comes down to the fact that they’re hard. Writing and running are both activities that require consistent mental focus and regular willpower. If I run and write several times a week, it gets easier and more rewarding. It’s still exhausting and challenging, but I’m better at it. It’s easier to ignore the trolls in my head urging me to give up. My momentum picks up and my accomplishments mount. Each run adds to my self-worth. Each blog post makes me feel like I’m adding to the collective art/entertainment of the internet.
But neither is ever easy. Neither is ever relaxing or even something I could call “fun”. Eventually I get to the point where I feel like I can give myself “A Break”. You’re too busy to write a blog post, I tell myself. You can’t run tomorrow, you need to rest, I demure.
And then, instantly, it’s been 3 months of sporadic writing/running. Suddenly, even though I ran a half marathon 6 minutes ago, and wrote a blog post that got 500+ likes 87 seconds ago, I can’t even run 3 miles without walking or write a blog post that anyone I’m related to will like.
Now that I know I can run and write, I hate myself when I don’t. I’m a lessor form of myself when I’m not running and writing. I’m the person who ran. And who wrote.
So I have a plan. I’m going to run and write. The hard things make me stronger. They make me better. They grow my brain and my body and my soul. I’m going to do the work.
Today I ran on the treadmill. It wasn’t pretty. I wanted to watch 7 Days In Hell, but my super old iPad didn’t have a new enough operating system. So I watched a Jen Aniston movie that depressed the shit out of me, Cake. About halfway in I wanted to hold my breath until I passed out. But I pushed through.
Today I’m writing a blog post. I’m posting it late. Probably no one will read it.
I’m going to run 3 times a week. Even if I don’t run the whole way.
I’m going to blog 3 times a week. I’m going to write them short and sweet, to work on conciseness. 500 words or less. Quality, not quantity.
Ready, set, GO!