My mother is getting ready for a massive, house clearing garage sale this weekend. She gathered the drips and dregs of junk she’s been holding for my brother, sister and me and called us each over to either take our crap, toss it or donate it to her sale.
I ended up taking home various newspaper clippings mentioning my status as a National Merit Scholar (the one bright, shining point of my academic career. Which I only achieved because it didn’t involve turning in any homework or studying. Or because I put my gum on the scantron and the computer got confused and decided I was ‘gifted’), 5 of my mother’s dresses she bought when she was at least 15 pounds heavier (so they totally fit me) and my second grade yearbook.
Of note is the fact that apparently I was so very popular I couldn’t actually get enough people to sign my yearbook to make it look adequately full, so I had my best friend, Wendy, sign it three different times with three different writing utensils, my sister sign it five times and even my dad sign my yearbook.That’s right, my dad signed my yearbook.
Also of note is the fact that a thick, straight bang was super in, in 1986.
I know I could have taken off my glasses for that picture, but I actually think I made the right choice. The glasses kids who remove them just for school photos always look a little cross-eyed due to the fact that they can’t actually see the photographer and are just sort of staring off blindly into space.
I’d like to pretend it was all uphill from there, but you haven’t seen the perm years. I could have actually passed for one of the Jackson 5 in 5th grade (I also had a really deep tan that year).