Lean in close, people… that’s it, gather round, I have something to say: OH MY GOD I’M FREE!!! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY CHILDREN IS HAPPILY BEING INSTRUCTED, SUPERVISED AND GUIDED BY COMPETENT ADULTS WHO ARE NOT ME RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.
I guess you didn’t really have to lean in close. You maybe didn’t even have to turn on your computer. It’s possible you just heard me scream that from my house. That’s right, all of the kids are officially back in school as of today. Now for a second I’m just going to sit here in the quiet of my house and complete an entire cohesive thought without once being asked if someone can have a snack, watch Netflix or play his DS.
Hrm. I may have forgotten how to do that. I’ll have to work on the cohesive thoughts.
Of course I have approximately 3 hours left of this freedom before I have to collect the ruffians and load them on a plane to Portland to attend my gorgeous sister-in-law’s wedding. So it’s a short-lived freedom, but I’ll take what I can get. I’m going to turn an R rated movie on the TV, eat a tiny bag of Cheetos all by myself and not have to share a single one and then take a shower without anyone coming into the bathroom to talk to me about ‘invisible twins’ he killed and/or put in jail. Or maybe I’ll just finish packing without my head exploding.
Conversation I had with Jonas yesterday:
Me – Are you excited to go to Aunt Julene’s wedding in Portland?
Jonas – I don’t even know what land that is, Mom. *Eyeroll*
The biggest negative to leaving to go out of town today (besides the fact that all three of my kids’ teachers want to lynch me for making them miss three days of school 10 seconds into the school year) is that my nephew, who was due yesterday, is clearly one of those people who thinks his time is more important than the rest of ours and doesn’t place any importance on being respectful and prompt for an appointment. He’s like already an entire day late. Kind of rude, right? I’m trying not to hold it against him because we haven’t been formally introduced yet (I don’t even know his name), but he’s not really making a good first impression.
My mother told me yesterday, “If you’re out of town when your sister has the baby, who will boss the nurses around and tell them how to do their jobs?”