Everyday I pick Ben up from eighth grade and he gets in the front seat and tells me about his day. I could probably just record each of the stories he tells me and blog every single one of them.
Me: So how was your day?
Ben: It was ok, with the exception of one minor hiccup.
Me: Oh yeah? What went wrong?
Ben: Well, we had spelling bee tryouts in English…
Me: Really? You used to be so good at the spelling bee!
Ben (with a withering glare): Mother. I am still an excellent speller.
Me: So you made the spelling bee?
Ben: Well… no. Mr. Mitchell had us all lined up and he started out with words like ‘mononucleosis’, which I totally would have gotten right, and ‘parquetry’-
Me: What does ‘parquetry’ mean?
Ben: I have no idea. The words were insanely hard right from the start. He was being evil about it. The first seven people who went all spelled their words wrong and were out of the running. When it was my turn he gave me ‘inimical’. Apparently it means overly negative or hostile. He said he picked it specifically for me because my journal entry was especially negative today. When I spelled it wrong he said, “Class, that’s what we call irony.”
Me (giggling): You probably deserved that. What was your journal entry on?
Ben: It was about how, oddly enough, sometimes stewing in a pit of your own self-pity and resentment towards others is actually quite cleansing.
Me: Stewing in self-pity and resentment is cleansing?
Me: I see.
Ben: In science we’re doing a debate on genetically modified crops. I had to pick a side and defend it. Where do you stand on that issue?
Me: Well, I don’t know that I actually have enough information about either side to definitively pick right this second, but-
Ben: Oh Mom, just pick!
Me: You’re interrupting!
Ben: I know, I’m feeling inimical.
Me: You’re exhausting.
Ben: Why do so many people say high school and jr. high were the worst years of their lives?
Me: I liked high school.
Ben: You were probably one of the people making it miserable for everyone else.
Me: What?! No, I really don’t think that’s the case…
Ben: I know, I was being inimical again.
Me: Well at least we’ve all learned a new word today.