Continued from I’m Back! on Monday…
Jason forgot his trusty baseball cap at home, so he spent the first part of the trip trying on various hats at gift shops and roadside tourist traps. Apparently in comparison to either most tourists or most Mexicans, Jason has an enormous head. This one was a 'no'.
This was the winning hat. I think it makes him look like a Floridian mobster. But in a good way.
I'm posting this one as revenge for the beach bikini picture Jason tweeted of me without warning or photo-approval. In retrospect, the bikini pic wasn't a horrible photo, but dude. I'm pretty sure one of the commandments Moses brought down from the mountain was, 'Thou shall not post pictures of your wife in a swimsuit on the internet without first allowing her the right to delete it off the face of the Earth if she so wishes." AmIright?
Thursday we ziplined through the jungle. It was rad.
This is me, careening dangerously toward the small platform between ziplines. I completely suck at slowing down. If you could see the look on the photographer's face, it would be one of horror.
Jason thought he would only need dark socks for pants or flip flops for this trip. He didn't anticipate the need for an athletic shoe with shorts. Thus the sexy black sock with shorts look he's sporting here.
After we ziplined they took us to a 'special activity' that turned out to be a bungee swing. That little red spec is Jason getting ready to jump.
This is me a fraction of a second after the guy at the top said, "Are you going to jump or do you need to be pushed?" and without waiting for a response hauled me up by the back of my harness and dropped me over the edge. Which was probably for the best.
I wasn't super into the free-falling part, but the swinging kicked ass.
Then we took pictures with birds. I feel compelled to post this picture merely for it's intrinsic unflatteringness. I don't know how you could possibly look at it and not be immediately drawn to the gut and crotchal center of the picture. It's like the birds don't even exist. It's a black hole of gut and crotch and stiff posing and black socks with shorts and helmets.
We capped off the adventure tour with a zipline into a cenote. Because I'm not a pansy I did it twice even though I could think of nothing but dead bodies and lake monsters as I splashed into the water.
Jason doesn't get that this is what I see in my head every time I enter a natural body of water.
We could only get WiFi on the balcony of our room at the resort. Luckily it was a gorgeous, comfortable balcony.
Friday we took a ferry to the island across the water from us, Isla Mujeres. From there we drove around the island in a rented golf cart that allowed us to do more gratuitous couple posing and nature photography. I tried my best not to worry about how they would identify our bodies after the violent golf cart wreck we were bound to die in at any moment.
That, my dears, is the long and the short of it. Here’s to another 10 years of wedded bliss! I think I might need a trip to paradise every two years instead of 10 from now on…