I have something important to tell you. Before I do, however, I want you to remember it doesn’t change who I am as a person. I’m still your daughter with the same heart and mind. Also, please know I didn’t do it to spite you; we just have different opinions on aesthetics. Which is good! People are different and beautiful! Snowflakes! Etc.
OK, here goes:
I got a boob job and a face tattoo.
Just kidding!! I only dyed my hair blue! And only parts of it! (See? It could be so much worse.)
I’ve been wanting to do this forever, so I’m glad I did and I’m happy with the results. Plus, several random teenagers and fast food service professionals have complimented me on it, which I think says a lot. Teenagers and fast food service professionals hardly ever like anything, right? So if they are into it, it’s clearly because I’m winning at awesome (and not because I’m working a look I’ve aged out of).
- My fingers and nails are constantly blue.
- When I shower it looks like the murder scene from Psycho except with a smurf.
- I have to add more dye to the blue sections every few weeks because it will fade.
- I feel concerned about clashing. I’m not totally sure this is an issue, but I’m worried I should stay away from certain blue color families in my outfits so I don’t create that noise like when you have just one of the car windows cracked, but for your eyes.
- When meeting parents of my kids’ friends for the first time they get that look in their eye that says: I feel nervous about leaving my kid with you.
- It’s blue!! And awesome!!!
- I was inspired to dress up like Marge Simpson for Halloween at the last minute because she has blue hair and I have blue hair.
- If I have to put the time and effort into dying my hair on a regular basis because it’s rapidly turning more grey than brown (thanks, Jonas), it’s so much more fun and rewarding to do it with fun colors. Eff you, blondes, with your ‘highlights’ and your ‘lowlights’… why can’t I have bluelights?
So there you have it. I did the blue and I like it. My mom will get over it (although she told me last night, It’s ok, it will grow out, and I didn’t have the heart to say, Not if I keep dying it, it won’t…).