Another Conversation I Never Thought I’d Have As a Parent
Me: So I called the pediatrician again today because it’s been 10 days and Gray still hasn’t pooped.
Jason: Oh god, it hurts just to think about.
Me: I asked him a few days ago if he regularly goes a week without pooping and he said, ‘Yeah. But then I always poop the next one.’ He’s completely indifferent about the whole thing.
Jason: So what did the doctor say?
Me: You’re not going to like this. He said we have to give him an enema.
Jason: … What’s this ‘we’ stuff?
Me: Oh, good, we’re totally on the same page. You’re much better at gross medical stuff. And he’s a boy, so it seems much more like a father/son thing.
Jason: ME!? I meant you! It’s not like a sex talk, it’s an enema on a seven year old! That’s clearly ‘mother’ territory.
Me: But you always handle the gory stuff! Like when anyone has a splinter? Or that huge blister I had from running? You popped it and it squirted on you and you totally handled it. I would have vomited and then passed out and probably divorced you when I woke up. I couldn’t even look when you sliced the end of your finger off chopping vegetables. You are way more suited for this.
Jason: You can’t just use weakness as an excuse to get out of doing stuff you don’t want to do. You’re a feminist. You’re completely contradicting yourself.
Me: Just remember it’ll be worse for him than it is you. And try to be quicker on the duck and cover this time.
Poor babe!!! Did you try milk of magnesia?
Are you supposed to give him something daily, too? We’ve been giving J Miralax dissolved in water since he was 6 mos old. It really helps.
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